


The Mocking Bird in the Cellar

by Cherikella



Category: BBC Sherlock
Genre: Falling In Love, Flashbacks, Jim is Sherlock's prisoner - Freeform, John is confused, M/M, Memories, Sherlock hates Jim and vice versa, asexual Jim - Freeform, captured Jim, hallucination
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-12
Updated: 2015-06-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 19:35:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3949078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherikella/pseuds/Cherikella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is the monster as bad as they say? <br/>John Watson is about to find out when he gets to know the real Moriarty better when Jim is captured and locked in a cellar by the Holmes brothers. <br/>Spending his days locked in that cellar Jim hallucinates Sebastian Moran - his dead lover whom he does not want to let go. <br/>Eventually Jim develops a closer relationship with John Watson - something neither of them expected - and maybe that would help him move on from the loss of his beloved sniper.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Caged Mockingbird

Finally, they've captured Jim Moriarty! Sherlock was so proud of himself! ... Well, like usual.

  
"You  _WILL_  tell us all about your underground network!" Sherlock insisted, screaming in Moriarty's face

  
Jim smiled softly, he was perfectly calm, as if being captured or even tortured by his arch enemy was no biggie.

  
"TALK!" Sherlock was losing patience.

  
"What? Without tea and biscuits?" Jim asked innocently "What kind of conversation would that be!"

  
Sherlock punched him in the face once again. Jim's nose was bleeding but he was still laughing at every blow.

  
Finally John could not take it and grabbed Sherlock's hand "That's enough!" he said "Sherlock... that's enough..."

  
Sherlock pushed Jim aside angrily. "He must talk, John!"

  
"I know... and he will. But we don't do that, we, weee" he pointed at the two of them "don't do that. We're the good guys."

  
Sherlock sneered, so did Jim.

  
John rolled his eyes. "Right. Just... give it time"

  
Sherlock considered something for a moment and then turned to Jim, as he was still talking to John.

"Fine." he said "But he  _hasn't_  got all the time in the world. If he doesn't breathe a word soon, I'll make sure he never breathes anything but prison air for the rest of his life!"

  
Jim made a face of fake surprise and grinned again as the blood was dripping from his face, getting in his mouth.

  
Sherlock had to fight another urge to punch that mocking face. He turned his back and left the dark damp cellar that Mycroft had provided so that John and he would interrogate Moriarty personally. 

"Leaving me so soon? When will you come back to play? Don't forget to drive madly!" Jim sing-songed after them, his almost manic laughter ringing in the room as the door closed behind the detective and his pet. 

 

* * *

 

 

"Told ya you always get in trouble when I'm not around" 

"Go away, Sebastian..." Jim drawled from the corner of the cellar 

"Gladly! Look at this dump!" Sebastian looked around, taking out his cigarettes from his pocket

Jim's eyes widened "Don't you dare smoke now!" he screamed

"Stop me, why don't ya?" 

Jim looked away, devoting all his attention to the damp wall, covered in mold.

Sebastian chuckled and lit up his cigarette, inhaling and exhaling the smoke with pleasure. 

"Love the suit, by the way" he then said

Jim looked down at his now torn and dirty suit that used to be one of his favourites. "Riiight." 

"So what's the plan here?" Seb asked

"What plan?" Jim's whole conduct was of a man who did not really care.

"Your plan, silly. What is your plan?" the sniper said "You won't be caught in this sh!t if you didn't have a plan." 

Jim stared at the wall again. 

"I see you're fascinated with the mold on the wall. Great." 

"Go away, tiger." Jim drawled 

"Can't happen. It's up to you to make me go away." Seb replied, strange look in his eyes

Jim said nothing. 

"Well? Will you make me go away?" he asked again

More silence. 

"Jim... I can't leave until you tell me to go!"

Again, not a word in reply.

Sebastian continued.

"Please... stop torturing yourself. It's not the nice kind" 

"What do you know!" Jim whispered 

Sebastian let out a loud sigh. "You always had a hard time accepting reality, didn't ya, boss?" 

"You're the one to speak! You're not even real!" 

"Exactly! I'm not real! Why do you keep me here? You don't need some memory of a ghost in your head all the time!" the sniper pleaded, getting on the floor next to Jim "It's been 5 years, Jim. Five years and you keep dragging me with you, everywhere, all the time! Making me watch as you fall lower and lower into that horrid depression, sinking in this madness, surrounding yourself with hallucinations!" 

Jim looked at him bitterly "Is it so terrible spending time with me?" 

Seb shook his head. "Make me go away, Jim, and return to life. You're not the dead one, I am." 

Jim gazed for a moment "No" he said and turned his head to the moldy wall again

"Fine! Stay here then! Rot in here!" Sebastian jumped up angrily and went to the other side of the cellar.

"What you don't understand, tiger, is that there were two deaths that day. One was yours, the other mine."

 

* * *

 

"I brought food." John said.

Jim covered his eyes from the sudden light that came from the opened door of the cellar. 

"Eat." he said and put the tray on the floor.

"You gonna stay here and watch me eat now? Kinky." Jim chuckled

"I can't risk you using a fork or a carrot or... something to get out of here" John said

"Had it ever crossed your mind that if I wanted to be out of here I would've left this dump by now?" Jim asked, the grin back on his face 

John only sighed "Just eat your food, okay?"

"Why do you want me to eat? Did you poison it?" Jim chuckled 

"The sooner you talk to Sherlock, the sooner this will be over." John said, ignoring Jim's faces.

"Mno." Jim shook his head "I like it in here." 

"You're just-- talk to Sherlock, give him the information already, it's been days!" 

"What's a few days in good company?" Jim replied 

"Good com--? You know what? Never mind. I don't care. Are you done with this?" he took the tray and left the room. 

Jim was once again alone in the dark. 

 

* * *

 

"So what now? We play rock, paper, scissors all day?" Seb appeared again. 

"Why are you here again?" Jim sighed 

"You tell me, I'm in  _your_  head." Sebastian shrugged. 

 "If you're gonna stay, be more pleasant and less boring." Jim drawled "Be like you once were... when you were alive."

"I can't. I'm not alive. And I'm not here." Sebastian insisted "I won't be pleasant, nor interesting. I'll bore the crap out of you! I'll annoy you to boredom and drive you completely insane! So if you hold my memory dear just tell me to go! Send me away!"

Jim looked at him, blank expression in his eyes. "No." he said again.

Sebastian shrugged "Your choice." he said "Why won't you talk to Holmes?"

"You know why"

"He doesn't even remember that case, Jim. It was five years ago and he didn't even know who I was."

"He'll pay..."

"Jim, this is insane!"

"Of course it is. I'm doing it. And I'm insane."

"You're insane?" 

"What? Are you getting this just now? I've been insane for the last five years after bl%dy Sherlock Holmes killed YOU!" 

Jim got up from the floor. Started pacing around the small damp cellar. Hands waving agitated, breathing hard, heart racing, eyes burning. 

"I'll take away everything he holds dear and I'll destroy it in front of him piece by piece." he kept talking slow and monotonous. "Just like he did..." 

"Jim..." Seb tried to put a hand on his lover's shoulder but it only went through his body. Seb sighed "I guess you can't feel me anymore..."

"No..." Jim replied quietly 

"I miss you too, Jim. Very much." he said

"I know..." 

"Tell me to leave?"

Jim chuckled, a melancholy smile on his pale blooded face "No"

 

* * *

 

 

"Were you talking to someone?" John asked confused when he brought another tray of food for Moriarty the next day.

"I talk to lots of people but I won't tell Sherlock anything." Moriarty replied

"No, I mean right now. I thought I heard voices..." 

"Oh, well, maybe you're going insane, like me!" a mad grin on his face "Welcome to the club!" he widened his eyes for a moment and started giggling

John took a step back, ready to ignore him and leave the cellar but something stopped him. A strange feeling in his stomach, in his gut. He always had those gut feelings and he's always listened to them so far, he was not about to stop now because they had Jim bl%dy Moriarty in the freaking cellar. 

"Why are you doing this?" John asked, looking straight at Jim's face.

"I got booored" Jim shrugged 

John shook his head "No, that's not it." he said "I know how bored minds like yours work."

"Do you now?" Jim interrupted 

"Yes, I live with Sherlock, remember?" John nodded and this remark caused Jim to chuckle

"Riiight." 

"What you're doing is more than just a madman being bored. There's something else." he said firmly "And I want to know what it is."

Silence. Jim's brown eyes were gazing at John. It was a war of stares. Finally Jim laughed. 

"Go away, Sherlock's pet!" he drawled 

"No." 

Another chuckle. The familiar response to the familiar question only this time from another person's mouth. Sebastian...

"You're supposed to be  _soldiers_  but you never  _listen_!" Moriarty whined and hissed 

"It's only me here" John lifted his arms in exasperation. 

Jim glared. "You want to hear a story, doctor?" he asked, his voice low and slow.

"Sure..." 

Jim shook his head "You're not gonna like it" he whispered 

"Doesn't matter." John replied "I still want to hear" and he sat down on the floor in front of Moriarty. 

Suddenly Jim burst into another fit of laughter.

"What now?" John let out a loud sigh

"All we need is a camp fire!" Jim laughed

"Will you get on with it?" 

"Fiiine. I'll tell you the story..." he nodded, looking lost in thought, his mind far away "I'll tell you about my tiger..."

"What?" 

"I'll tell you... about... my... tiger." he repeated slower and louder 

"I heard you the first time." John rolled his eyes "But I'm not taking you seriously." 

"My tiger is...  _was_... my sniper, my confidant, my bodyguard, my right hand, my friend... my..." the words hitched in his throat "Well, you'll hear the story and you'll find out... "

* * *

 


	2. The Song of the Mockingbird

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashbacks from Jim's story are from a roleplay with Psychopathic_Tendencies.  
> 

After a long pause during which John was staring at Jim while Jim was staring at the wall, Moriarty finally began his story. He told John everything the way it was pierced in his memory. He did not leave out any detail. It was almost like a confession; a first, a last, an only. 

And here are the memories of Jim Moriarty that John Watson heard that day...

 

* * *

 

 

* ** _flashbacks in text_** *

 

_Boss, I think last night we accidentally got... married... SM_

**You don't say, Moran? xJM**

_You don't seem too surprised... SM_

**I'm being sarcastic! xJM**

_Oh... Sorry, boss. I'm still... freaking a bit... SM_

**We're getting a divorce. xJM**

_Of course... Yes, sure. Yes. We have to after all. Ha. SM_

**What's wrong now? xJM**

_Well, technically, we need time to get the divorce papers and stuff... I mean, it could actually be a good thing... We can save from taxes... SM_

**Fine. xJM**

_So we'll just stay like that then? SM_

**Yeah. xJM**

_Ok. Do I still call you boss? SM_

**Yes. xJM**

_Do I still sleep in the guest bedroom? SM_

**Yes. xJM**

_Oh. SM_

**Why wouldn't you? ...Have we had sex? xJM**

_... No? SM_

**WE DID!? xJM**

_I don't know! All I know is I woke up with you in my bed... or me in yours... not sure... And there were the rings and there were the vowels and there was this guy who knocked on the door telling me that the documents will be all done this afternoon! SM_

**WHAT!? xJM**

_I'm just as shocked as you are, boss! SM_

**We can't have had sex. xJM**

_I don't think you can take it back now if it had happened... SM_

**This won't end well! xJM**

_You're going to kill me, aren't you? SM_

**No. It won't end well for me. xJM**

_I promise I won't kill you, boss. SM_

**Not. Like. That. xJM**

_What do you mean then? SM_

**Did we use a condom? xJM**

_Jim, I'm not even sure if it really happened or did I dream it up. And even if we didn't use a condom, does it matter at all? I promise I'm clean. SM_

**It does matter. xJM**

_What else would you need a condom for? SM_

**I don't know. xJM**

_Don't worry, boss. I didn't get you pregnant. SM_

**Moran! JM**

_Sorry... SM_

**Nothing's changed between us. JM**

_Of course, boss. SM_

**This is the last thing I needed! JM**

_That's the least of our problems. SM_

**How so? xJM**

_You have to send me away. On an assignment far away. Please. SM_

**Why? xJM**

_Because. SM_

**Tell me why. xJM**

_You'd hate me if I tell you. SM_

_But you probably hate me already. SM_

**Tell me, Sebastian! JM**

_I can't stay close to you and be so far away at the same time. That's why you need to send me abroad! SM_

**Do you have feelings for me? xJM**

_Just send me far away! Please! SM_

**Moran... xJM**

_Have mercy. SM_

**When did this happen? xJM**

_Don't ask me that... SM_

**When, Seb? xJM**

_Pretty long time ago. SM_

**How long? xJM**

_I liked you from the moment we first met. I loved you since the second murder we did together. SM_

**Woah. xJM**

_I'm sorry... SM_

**No. xJM**

_... Send me away... SM_

**I can't. xJM**

_Why? SM_

**Because. xJM**

_Don't torture me... SM_

**I love you. xJM**

_[Delayed] You love me too? SM_

**Yes. xJM**

_But you never love? You're a cold-hearted machine! SM_

**So? xJM**

_How can you love me then? SM_

**Because you've melted my heart! xJM**

_When did I manage to do that!? I was busy shooting people most of the time. SM_

**I. Don't. Know. xJM**

_Maybe it's just lust. I'm pretty hot, you know. It's normal. SM_

**Moran. I'm asexual. xJM**

_Why do you love me then? I'm sex on legs! SM_

**I don't know! xJM**

_But if you love me... and I love you... What the hell are we doing still texting!? I'm coming over! SM_

**No! xJM**

_What? Why? SM_

**Don't come here! JM**

_Alright, I get it, you're asexual. I'm not coming for sex, Jim. SM_

**Okay... xJM**

_So can I come see you then? SM_

**Yes. xJM**

_Good. Because I'm right outside your flat right now. SM_

**Now? xJM**

_Now. If you'd have me. SM_

**Ok. xJM**

 

* * *

 

"Woah! What just happened here!?" John exclaimed confused "You married your sniper?" 

"That's what he says anyways." Jim chuckled, casting a teasing glance at Sebastian's ghost in the other end of the cellar. "He claims we got married while we were drunk but I still haven't seen those papers." another laugh "He probably lied to get me to love him" 

"Yeah, you wish!" Sebastian shook his head with a chuckle "We so got married, kitten!" 

John was still processing the information.

"Well, I can see you lo--" he could not say it.

The thought of Moriarty being in love with anyone was too strange for him to understand. In a way it was too difficult to accept that even this madman was capable of finding the ability to love somewhere in this psychotic heart of his but Sherlock was not. 

"Loved him, yes." Jim nodded, looking back at John "Are you daft or homophobic? It's difficult to tell..." 

"I'm not-- It's all fine. But... I never met Sebastian Moran..." John said 

"No... you have not." Jim said slowly and Sebastian hunched in his corner. "He died... not long ago..." 

"Five bl%dy years ago!" Sebastian interrupted vigorously again but was totally ignored by the only person in the cellar who could see him. 

"Oh... I'm so sorry..." John felt surprised that he really meant it. 

"You're not sorry yet." Jim said bitterly "But your Sherlock will be sorry soon!" 

"What does all this have to do with Sherlock?" 

"Everything!" 

"Yeah..." John nodded "You have to be more precise than that!" 

"Of course! I forgot whom I was talking to..." Jim rolled his eyes theatrically "Your Sherlock took my Sebastian away."

"In what sense?" 

"He killed him..."

"Nonsense!" 

"He did!" 

"Not possible." John shook his head "You're mocking me! It's all part of one of your games, your silly schemes that you use to control people, to make you feel like you matter!" 

Jim laughed "You don't believe me?"

"Not a word. Sherlock's not a killer. He's many things, but not a killer." John said, crossing his arms on his chest 

"Oh, no?" Jim raised an eyebrow 

"No. Definitely not." 

"I don't see the problem, John. You're a killer too"

John looked away for a moment, then back at Jim. "That was different. I was a soldier." 

"You weren't a soldier during your last murder" Jim sing-songed, a smile creeping on his face. 

"Why do I even listen to you!?" John said annoyed and left hurriedly, locking the door behind him.

As he walked through the hallway back to the house John could still hear Jim's manic laughter ringing throughout the place.

 

* * *

 

 

"Why are you doing this? Why did you tell him?" Sebastian asked once they were alone again

"What do you mean?" 

"Will you stop staring at the bl%dy wall, Jim!" 

"It's moldy, like my life. It's not bl%dy... yet" 

"Jim!"

Jim sighed. "John Watson is important to Sherlock. It'd be fun to watch Sherlock's face as he realizes he's disappointed him." 

"You think John Watson would be disappointed in Sherlock for causing my death!?" Sebastian laughed "Oh, Jim... I'm a sniper, a killer, I'm a criminal. I don't matter. John would not mind that. He'd understand it. To him I'm nothing but... but that cabby he shot two years ago!" 

Jim slowly started smiling, then the smile grew into a grin, then to another fit of laughter. 

"He won't be disappointed because of your death, tragic as it was, tiger." Jim said "But he surely will be disappointed to find out that Sherlock was responsible for more than one death. After all, it was the day 'the other one' died..."

* * *

 


	3. Is There a Soul Inside the Psychopath?

John unlocked the door again, got inside the cellar, locked the door behind him and sat down on the floor face in face with Moriarty. Jim raised his gaze and stared back, not moving, not making a sound, not showing any sign of emotion, perfectly still. It was creepy.

"I'm here" John broke the silence.

Jim looked back at him as if saying 'I can see that. So bl%dy what?' 

"I'm ready to hear the rest of the story..." John explained and the following words were difficult to say but he still managed "If you would still be willing to tell it... Please." 

A grin slowly returned to Moriarty's face. 

"I am willing then" he said "Any chance you remember where we stopped the last time?" 

"Sebastian Moran was on his way to your flat..." 

"Ah, right! This is the fun part!" he chuckled 

"I'd rather you get to the part where Sherlock is a murderer." John said, ready to face anything.

"I'll get to that... in the next chapter" another chuckle 

 

* * *

 

 

* ** _flashback_** *

 

Sebastian rang the doorbell. When Jim opened the door Seb was waiting for him with flowers and wine in his hands, and a charming grin on his face.

"You're fast!" Jim said surprised

"I was in the neighborhood" Seb replied, coming up with the first cliche he could think of. How do you tell your boss that you spend all your evenings guarding him outside his flat?

Jim arched an eyebrow. "And the wine?"

"It was in the neighborhood too" Sebastian winked as he made his way past Jim and into the flat. 

"You're lying" Jim shook his head with a hint of a smile, creeping on his lips. 

"I don't hear you complaining" the sniper chuckled and made himself comfortable in Jim's home

"Humph" Jim closed the door and followed.

"Where do you keep the glasses?" Seb asked, looking around. 

"Above the sink" came the reply.

"Right..." he got them and returned with a dancing pace as Jim laughed and rolled his eyes at him.

"Now I realize that it was destiny that you'd fall for me!" Sebastian said, offering him a glass of wine "We're meant to be, boss"

Jim took the glass and raised an eyebrow at Moran once again. "Really? How?"

"Well... You're amazing, I'm amazing..."

"Seb"

"... together we'll be amazing..." he finished, looking deeply into Jim's eyes."What's the matter? What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Did I do something wrong? I did, didn't I?" Seb got embarrassed all the sudden. Jim wasn't just any guy, it had to be perfect with Jim.

"You didn't" Jim shook his head again.

"What's the matter then?"

"Nothing"

Sebastian sat down on the couch next to Jim and looked closely at him. 

"Jim, I know you well enough by now to know that there's something wrong"

"Nothing. Is. Wrong" Jim insisted

"Your accent tells me something's wrong. It just got thicker" Moran noticed, to Jim's great dismay. 

"Did not!"

"Um, it did"

He had to fight back! "Yours just got posher" Jim said in an attempt to change the subject from his accent.

"Oh... sorry..."

"Stop apologizing"

"Sor-- okay..."

Jim smirked.

"Don't laugh at me! It's not easy, y'know!" 

Jim smirked again. "You're still posh sounding, rich boy" he said.

Seb shook his head "I'm sorry... I always sound like that when--" he cut himself off "Sorry..."

Jim got curious now. "When what?" he asked.

"Nothing..."

"Sebby"

"You'd throw me out if I tell you..." the sniper said quietly, looking away

"I won't" Jim promised. 

"I know you will... It's bad. I mean... You won't approve of it"

Jim sighed, put his glass of wine away and leaned back on the couch. 

"I know all about your past, Moran" he said

"What do you mean?" Sebastian asked somewhat alarmed

"Your dad, India, your depression, all the stepmums, the dead boyfriend, you trying to kill yourself, the rich upbringing and the PSTD"

"Great..." Seb muttered

"So spill"

" _My_ accent _changes_ like _that_ when _I'm_ turned _on_..." he blurted out, flushing

Jim smirked, moving closer to Seb. Seb, on the other hand, seemed even more confused now. 

"Good!" Jim said, slowly. 

"Don't you want me to go now?" Moran asked, still confused

"Nope" Jim smirked again, sliding closer to Sebastian. 

"Alright..." an awkward smile followed by Seb moving a bit further away from Jim

"What's wrong?" Jim cocked his head. 

"Well... I'll be honest here, Jim. You say you're asexual but then when I say I'm turned on by you instead of moving away you get even  _closer_ , making me even  _more_... Well, you know." Jim's big brown eyes stayed innocently pierced in Sebastian, reading his inmost emotions. Sebastian shifted in his seat. "Just stop looking at me like  _that_. Let's have tea or watch a movie or something."

Jim rolled his eyes. "Ugh, fine. Be boring." 

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're fun to tease" Jim shrugged

"That's cruel, Jim" Sebastian sighed, not particularly sounding like a complaint.

Moriarty smiled again. "You sound so nice posh..."

" _Jim_... This isn't something you can just amuse yourself with.  _Please_..." Seb said, his accent getting even more posh

"How posh can you get?" Jim suddenly moveed into Sebastian's lap, leaving the blonde man breathless with surprise. "Well?" 

"I don't know, no one's gotten me  _that_  posh before..." Seb replied

"Ooh, I'm going to try!" 

Seb swallowed hard, flushed and nervous, his accent getting even posher then before.

"Umm, Jim... better not... Jim...  _please_ , don't tease me like that..."

Jim smirked and wraped his arms around Sebastian's neck. "Like you would hurt me"

Moran looked crashed "I won't hurt you. That's the last thing I want to do to  _you_. I want to love you! I just... this is embarrassing!"

"It's cute"

"It's cute to you, it's torture to me!"

"You sound so fancy" Jim giggled

"At this rate I'll soon sound like the blo%dy queen! Jim, please!"

"Hmm... the queen?"

"Shut up, Jim!" Seb said, all  _posh_  and  _fancy  causing to_ Jim laugh even more. 

"Jim, you never felt it so you don't know how it feels but it sucks to want someone  _so_  much and not to have them"

Jim just kissed Seb in reply and before he knew it, Seb kissed back, trying to keep his hands mostly to himself, whereas Jim puts his own hands on Sebastian's waist. 

Seb's kiss became more passionate and eventually he pulled away.

"Hey! I was enjoying that!" Jim protested

"No, you weren't! You're just toying with me!"

"Nope!"

"Fine! You want a kiss? There you go!" he pulled him in a passionate kiss again.

Jim kissed back as Seb carefully placed him back on his lap again. Jim smiled into the kiss and Seb smiled too, resting his hands on Jim's back. 

"You're not a bad kisser" Jim smiled. 

"I've had loads of practice!" Sebastian grined. 

"Good"

"Anyone else would be jealous to hear that" he chuckled 

"Not me" Jim shook his head. "I'm just glad you know what you're doing" 

"You're brilliant!" Moran grinned even wider now. 

Another kiss and Jim  _kissed back. He actually kisses back with the same vigorous passion as Sebastian._

"For a person who's not much into this, you're amazing!" Sebastian could not help but notice. 

"Never said I didn't like kissing"

"Oh... I just supposed..."

"It's fine"

"Well, that's good!" Sebastian smiled "So I can get a few kisses here and there?"

"Yep"

"That  _is_  good! You should've told me earlier!"

"Sorry"

"But I take it sex is still out of the question?"

"Yep"

"Oh, boy... Okay."

"Thanks" 

Sebastian looked at him with warm loving eyes. "Hey, I love you, kitten!"

"Kitten?"

"Sorry... did I get carried away?"

"Yeah" Jim nodded 

"So no sex  _AND_  no calling you kitten? That's tough!"

They laughed for a moment, looking at each other. Jim's laughter suddenly stopped and he just stared at Sebastian, as if he's trying to figure him out. 

"What is it?" Sebastian asked concerned. 

"Why'd you say you loved me?" 

"Because I do..." came the quick reply

"Love isn't real" Jim shook his head

Sebastian is even more confused now. "B-but... you said you loved me too!" he stuttered

"I didn't" 

"You texted me that you loved me! You lied! You-- you don't love me?" 

Cold brown eyes looking back at him. "Love isn't real"

Sebastian felt sad anger rising in his chest. "Of course it is real! I thought it wasn't but then I felt it! You made me feel it! But you still say it isn't real so you're not feeling it..."

"Why would I?" Jim asked calmly, complete opposite of Sebastian's outburst. 

"You don't really love me..." Seb frowned and got more reserved himself "Maybe you'd like to get off my knee now, boss"

He moved.

"That's better." Sebastian said, ice cold

"What happened to the warm posh Seb?"

"Gone. Forever. You'll never hear it again, so be happy" Seb said. 

"Oh, have I hurt you?"

Glare. 

"I love you, Jim! It's not just physical, you see, although" a bit posher "there's that too..." back to normal "But I just  _love_  you, Jim! And you don't. And it sucks again."

Jim rolled his eyes.

"I'm only making a fool of myself here!" Sebastian said getting up from the couch "I won't disturb you with my feelings anymore, boss. Don't worry."

"You better not" Jim hissed back

"You shouldn't have let me come here, or let me kiss you! You shouldn't have given me hope only to trample on it!" he said before leaving

"Well I didn't know you were a wuss!" came the reply.

Sebastian stopped at the door, turning around and getting back to Jim. His expression was so fierce, even Jim felt shivers down his spine...

 

* * *

  
  
Moriarty was silent now.   
  
"Well? What happened? What!?" John aske, curiosity rising.   
  
"Water..." Moriarty said and John had to wait for him to empty a few glasses of water before continuing with his story. 

* * *

 


	4. Is There a Soul Inside the Psychopath? 2

"Are you done with that?" John had to interrupt that ridiculously concentrated and long process of drinking water.   
  
Moriarty looked at him surprised but then put the glass away. "Where did we.--"  
  
"He was fierce, approaching you after you called him a wuss!" John quickly reminded, anxious to hear the rest.   
  
"Oh, yes... so..."   


* * *

  
Sebastian stopped at the door, turning around and getting back to Jim. "I can still kill better than you!" he said.

  
"I can still kill better than you!" he said.

"Oh?" Jim stood up to get right in Seb's face.

"I can kill, and shoot, and destroy, and strangle and cut throats better than you ever did! And I won't squeak about getting my clothes dirty either! I'm not a freaking wuss!" as he kept hissing back at Jim his accent growing posher again.

"You've never seen me cut a throat before then"

"I saw you once... And... I remember it..." he was scared to talk because his accent is too telling. What, the hell, was wrong with him!? Why did Jim have so much power over him?

"Sexy, right?" Jim smirked

"No! ..." 

"I did it so  _gracefully_..."

"Shut up!"

" _Beautifully_..."

Jim emphasized on every word as he stared back at Sebastian as if challenging him.

"It was hot, okay? It was graceful, beautiful, hot, and amazing! Your face was beaming with strange light, your smile was hypnotizing, the blood on your clothes only made you more attractive and irresistible! I was smitten, okay? Happy now!? Embarrassing enough for you?" Sebastian blurted out

A smile spread across Jim's face.

"F*ck you, Jim!" Sebastian poshed out ((because poshed is a word now thanks to Moran))

"Aren't you a queen?" Jim sing-songed 

"At this rate I can outposh the queen, Jim!"

"That turned on?"

"You've no idea!" he wrapped his arms around Jim's waist.

"Hey" Jim protested 

"Don't be silly. It's only me, Jim" he sighed and pulled him into a tight embrace

"Too tight" Jim observed

"Feeling flushed? Uncomfortable? Tingly?" Moran was determined to get back at Jim for what he did to him a moment ago

"No"

"Is my proximity making you feel something new?"

"Your d!ck"

Seb did not expect that reply. "What about my-- oh..."

Jim nodded. 

"Sorry..." Sebastian flushed again and lets Jim go "I'll just leave"

Jim fixed the creases on his suit. "Find someone else" 

Seb sat down on the couch again, crossing his legs, looking away from Jim, awkwardly. "I don't want someone else, Jim. It's you I love"

"But you'll never get sex with me"

"I realize that" he relaxed a bit "I'll just have to give up sex then..." his face looked a bit distressed at the thought but he managed to be firm about it. 

Jim rolled his eyes with a loud sigh. "You're ridiculous"

"Why?"

"Just give up"

"Am I that repulsive to you?" Sebastian asked crashed

Jim shook his head. "No"

"What then?"

"You're just ridiculous"

"Can you ever love me, Jim? Or at least... let me love you from a distance?"

"I don't know"

"I still think we can make it work. You and me. No sex, I promise"

"You can actually do this for me?" Jim asked again

"Yes!" 

"You? Sebastian Moran? The man who has a new conquest every night?" Jim continued, raising an eyebrow in disbelief 

"Yes!"

"I'm more than just a toy to you?" 

"Yes! Of course! You're so much more!" 

"You want to actually be a husband to me?" 

"Yeeees!" 

Jim nodded, the edges of his mouth lifting up a bit. "Ok" he finally said

"Really?"

"Yes"

Sebastain jumped happily from the couch, lifting Jim and spinning him around the room

"Oi!"

Jim protested and Seb put him back at once, grinning "What? That's not sex, I assure you!"

"It was so sickeningly romantic"

"Oh, come on! No romance too!?"

"Romance makes me sick" Jim explained with a little smile

Sebastian shook his head with a grin. "Okay... so what can I do?"

Jim shruged. 

"Murders and kisses?" Sebastian suggested

"Sure"

"Great! Both turn me on when you do them" Seb rolled his eyes

"Idiot" Jim chuckled 

"It's not my fault you're so gorgeous!"

"Ugh"

He felt his accent getting a bit posh again so he kissed Jim in order to prevent him from knowing

This time Jim gladly kissed back, feeling how Sebastian kept the kiss gentle and sweet. This made him feel something new in his heart. It was love. He was in love. The man who wanted to have no weaknesses, no pressure points, finally had one - Sebastian Moran. 

"Cutie"

"I'm not a cutie" Seb chuckled, running his fingers through Jim's hair

"No?"

He shook his head with a smile "No..."

"What are you then?"

"Perfect?"

Jim laughed

"Am I not perfect?" Sebastian gave a huge shark grin

"You're vain"

"My vanity is almost as big as my love for you"

"Ugh"

"You find me sickening all the time! I'm flattered"

Jim huffed.

"Jim, if you want me to leave, say it. But please don't tell me perhaps"

"Fine"

"Well? Should I stay or should I go?"

"Stay"

He grinned "I'll stay then!"

"Good"

He sat back on the couch and tapped the place beside him. "Come join me?"

Jim sat beside him and Sebastian wrapped an arm around him, smiling.

"This is heaven for me. With you by my side." he sighed "You love me. I know you do, Jim. Even if you keep saying you don't love anyone, I know I am the exception"

"You are not. I'm not that weak"

Seb shook his head "You don't know yourself as well as I do"

"Don't I?"

"No. You're an idiot" the sniper said lovingly

"I'm not an idiot!" Jim protested

"Aren't you adorable, saying all that!"

"Humph"

"Kiss me, kitten!"

He shook his head

"Come on! Your lips are made for kissing!"

"No"

"They're definitely not made to say no to me"

"I think they are!"

"Oh?"

"Yep. They are"

"Liar. You wouldn't have asked me to come here if they were"

"No?"

"You like spending time with me"

"Nope"

"You miss me when I'm gone. Admit it!"

"I don't"

"I've seen you"

"When?"

"When you miss me"

"I don't miss anyone."

"I know what I saw. "

"Oh?"

"You were looking at my picture, talking and crying to it"

"I wasn't"

"What were you doing then?"

"None of that!"

"Yeah right"

"You're just crazy!"

"Hey!"

"You are!"

"Ok, fine. What’s wrong with that?"

"A lot"

"It's okay to feel attached, y'know"

"It's a weakness"

"No, it's a weakness that gives strength!"

"No"

"Am I not worth having one weakness?"

"Nothing is worth it"

"Oh."

"They'd target you..."

"You're worried about  _me_?"

Jim nodded.

"That's really endearingly sweet, Jim, but I'm an assassin, if you don't remember. And I can shoot well, pretty well."

"And if they gang up on you? Or poison you? Or capture you?"

"They have before. No biggie"

"Yes biggie!" Jim draped himself across Sebastian's lap

Sebastian started stroking his hair lovingly "I appreciate how sweet you're trying to be, kitten, but I'm a grown man. They should be afraid of me"

"They're ruthless! And you're barely grown!"

"What's that supposed to mean!? You don't think I can handle it?"

"No!"

"I can't believe you really think that! After all the times I saved you life!"

"Well I do think that!"

Seb moved away from Jim. "Fine! Why are you wasting your time with such a useless piece of sh!t then!?"

Jim looked hurt before he composed himself again. "I don't know, maybe because you have a great ass?"

"Typical!"

"Don't be like that!"

"The man I bl%dy love just admitted he's only with me for my ass! How am I supposed to feel!?"

"...right. Only for the ass"

Seb sulked and actually pouted.

"Oh don't pout"

"I'm not pouting! I'm hating you!"

"Don't do that"

"Yeah, right. Because I'm also a very obedient piece of ass!" he said sarcastically

"You don't understand"

"I understand about liking an ass! I don't understand how can you stay with someone just for that!? How can you lie to me just for that!? I really actually love you, Jim! And you just use me!"

"You're an idiot!"

"Yeah, well, looks over brains is your preferable choice, ain't it?"

"I love you! Can't you see that!? Why do you I think I worry so much about you!? It's because I'd be lost if you died!"

Sebastian was so surprised by this beautiful declaration of affection that he couldn't say a word. Jim got up, huffed, and stalked away. Sebastian forced himself to say something and when that failed again, he jumped and followed Jim quickly, pulling him into a hug. Now it was Jim's turn to be surprised.

Seb stood there for a moment, not moving, just holding Jim as tightly as he could as if afraid that he'd run away from him. When he finally felt calm enough to speak, he smiled "I love you more than anything, Jim!"

"Thank you!" He buried his face in Seb's shirt

Seb smiled. He couldn't believe what he was seeing just now. "Are you actually feeling comfortable to show emotion in front of me, boss?"

"I can't help it"

"Good! I want you to be like this with me!"

"Ok"

They hugged some more and then Seb let go, still smiling. Jim was blushing.

"Can I say that you're cute or will you punch me if I do?" Seb asked with a grin

"I'll punch you" Jim said, faking seriousness "I'll definitely punch you"

"Right." 

Jim smiled sweetly and Seb grinned again. 

* * *

 

"Why-- why on Earth did I have to listen to all of that?" John took the opportunity to speak while Jim was making a pause. 

"It's all part of the story" Moriarty insisted

"I doubt it!"

Jim looked down, occupied with a dirty piece of some cloth laying on the floor. "I just... wanted to talk about him..." he whispered very quietly "I wanted to remember..." a sniff "I needed this..." 

John froze. He could not speak. This was no pretense. Moriarty was actually being human right now, vulnerable and so fragile as if he'd break. It was impossible to strike a man in such a condition. 

"I--" John coughed "I'd love to hear it..." 

Moriarty looked at him surprised. "No. No more stories. No more now." he drawled. 

"But I thought--"

"I said... no... more... stories..." and he turned away, facing the wall. 

John waited for a couple of heartbeats and seeing Moriarty did not change his mind, he nodded.

"Alright. I'll see you tomorrow." he said and left the criminal-- no, the man, the person, Moriarty alone.  


End file.
